Most everyone is familiar with the mystical tales of “1001 Nights” also known as “The Arabian Nights” - a famous collection of Middle Eastern folk tales compiled during the Islamic Golden Age. Perhaps the most famous of the stories is that of the street urchin, Aladdin, who comes into possession of a wondrous lamp that when rubbed summons an all-powerful genie who grants the bearer of the lamp any wish they desire. Well… almost anything they desire.
The struggle of Aladdin (particularly in the Disney adaptation) of how to get everything he desires while not exceeding the limitations of the lamp is a recurring theme throughout. As a thought exercise, let’s see if we can properly quantify the workings of the magic of the lamp in order to allow us to uncover an exploit which might unlock unlimited wishes.
This is the story of how things might have turned out if Agrabah’s vizier of public education had put more money into improving public schools for street rats.
The Rules
Firstly, let’s assume that the lamp operates according to “Disney rules”, and includes the following restrictions:
- Can only grant a maximum of three wishes to a single distinct entity
- Cannot be used for more wishes
- Cannot be used create new genies or equivalently powerful entities
- Teleports to an undisclosed location on the conclusion of the final wish
Using Two Wishes
Thus Spake Aladdin:
- For my first wish, create a human under my command both in deed and thought.
- For my second wish, {make one’s desired wish}
- Hand the lamp to your golem
- Have the creature repeat from Step 1
Every dozen or so wishes, make the secondary wish be the removal of all the previous homunculus from existence otherwise it’s going to get crowded in Agrabah. Okay, now what might happen if the rules got stricter? Let’s add on a fourth stipulation.
If the bearer of the lamp instead attempts to relinquish control of the lamp, it immediately teleports to an undisclosed location.
The Scheduled Wish
Thus Spake Aladdin:
- For my first wish, create a human under my command both in deed and thought
- For my second wish, {make one’s desired wish}
- For my third wish, I wish for my entire party of companions to be teleported to the location of this magic lamp exactly one hour from now.
Perhaps we desire to minimize the possibility of a “sunken treasure ship of Coeur du Mer” situation?
The third wish can be altered thusly, “I wish that this magic lamp be magically returned to my current location exactly one hour from now.”
Ah but effendi you protest, “what if the genie comes from a relatively old line of magic lamps that don’t support the latest in latent wish technology?”
The Double Lamp
Thus Spake Aladdin:
- For my first wish, create a human under my command both in deed and thought
- For my second wish, {make one’s desired wish}
- For my third wish, I wish for a magic lamp not currently under anyone’s control to be teleported to my location
- Repeat from Step 1
This trick requires the world to have a minimum of two lamps, both of which are unclaimed.
Conclusion
Once your desires are fully sated, you can summon the genie on occasion by sensuously rubbing its lamp while maintaining eye contact for an uncomfortably long amount of time. Or you know you can test your genie for paradox absorbing crumple zones by wishing that this wish not be granted.