In this article, we cover some brands of sweets that really stretch the definition of word. The kind of candy that makes a child want to brush their teeth for no other reason than to wash out the aftertaste.
Good & Plenty
The oldest candy to have been associated with an actual brand - it has been in production from as early as 1893. The pink and white pill-shaped candy contains chewable black licorice inside.
It looked like pills, smelled a bit like pills, and honestly probably tasted better if you consumed them like pills by swallowing them whole. You had your choice of two colors, pink and white, but only one flavor: BAD.
With its capsule shape and pill‑like taste, I’m convinced Good & Plenty is what Dr. Mario was really tossing. Even viruses 1 don’t like licorice.
Turkish Delight
Turkish delight is a sweet, chewy confection made from sugar and starch, often flavored with rosewater, lemon, or nuts, and dusted with powdered sugar.
In the series The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis, one of the children, Edmund, is completely obsessed with Turkish delight, going so far as to sell out his own family to the White Witch in exchange for his next fix. Here’s a picture I put together to give you an idea.
If you’ve ever actually had Turkish delight, you’d be baffled by the lengths Edmund would go to just to eat what essentially amounts to gelatinous cubes of cornstarch lightly dusted with confectionery sugar. Can you imagine what he’d be willing to do for a Klondike bar? What’s that? You want me to kill all the satyrs? Come here for a second Mr. Tumnus.
You’re going to stick to something with “delight” in the name - we’d recommend Afternoon Delight 2.
Tootsie Rolls
Tootsie Rolls were first created in 1896 by Leo Hirschfeld, an Austrian immigrant who wanted to make a chocolate that wouldn’t melt easily. The candy became especially popular during World War II, when it was included in soldiers’ rations because of its durability in adverse weather conditions and long shelf life.
When the primary goal of a new kind of candy isn’t how it tastes, you should be concerned. Nothing says delicious like a fire-retardant candy!
That being said, it was probably something to look forward to when the last thing you’d eaten was spam.
Later, they combined lollipops and Tootsie Rolls into a single candy called the Tootsie Pop. Now you could play a game of Russian roulette to see who ended up with the unpleasant center.
Footnotes
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There is evidence to suggest that licorice does indeed possess antimicrobial properties. See https://imgpb.com/qSDvs for details. ↩
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The Starland Vocal Band song not the strain of marijuana from Arrested Development. C’mon this is a wholesome show. ↩